Side Person Syndrome

Dr. Luv writes for New Growth Magazine

Do you have challenges being in a relationship with just one person? Do you have a hard time committing to just one person? Do you prefer an open relationship? Do you still have feelings for your ex and occasionally need to sleep with him or her to make sure that the feelings are still there? Do you feel the need to have a side chick or side dude just in case stuff doesn’t work out with your main relationship? If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, then you might have SPS?

What is SPS?

SPS is an acronym for Side Person Syndrome. SPS is excessive emotional or psychological desire for an additional person(s) to complement your primary relationship. The symptoms of SPS include: a history of side chicks or side dudes, history of open relationships, fear of commitment, emotionally unavailable, problem with intimacy, and SPS family history.

Three phases of SPS?

A person afflicted with SPS goes through three phases: (1) Shame/Guilt, (2) Unapologetic, and (3) Repentance. During phase one, the SPS victim is ashamed of his or her behavior and feels bad about their desires but has no plans to change their behavior. During phase two, SPS victims begin to accept their behavior and no longer have a guilty conscious. This is their most dangerous phase because they have the potential to harm the most innocent people. The third phase involves the SPS victim attempting to repent of their sins in old age but they have a high likelihood of harming people when they attempt to clean up their act and regress into their past behaviors.

Who does SPS affect?

SPS affects spouses, significant partners, parents, children, side persons, and the dating pool.  SPS is a hidden threat to all relationships because SPS usually isn’t detected up front. Usually, most people identify SPS after they are going through a break-up or divorce. If you are aware of the warning signs of SPS syndrome, it is easy to detect with advanced screening.

How to detect SPS?

During the first two phases of SPS, victims are on the hunt for potential side pieces. So if you are single, you have to ask people questions that might give them the impression that you are willing to be a side piece. Asking questions to see if they have an intention of making you a side piece. A single person might say “I have a full-time job and I only have time for a part-time relationship. Are you okay with that?” If you are okay with a part-time relationship, then you are a new potential side piece. Below are some questions to help you detect SPS:


SPS victims prefer open relationships, are uncomfortable becoming vulnerable, handle multiple sexual relationships with ease, have a difficult time answering questions about cheating, believe love is limitless, and think traditional relationship values are outdated. Before you begin a relationship, check to see if your potential partner has SPS.


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