The magic words that most people want to hear are ‘I Love You’, followed by a passionate hug and a heartfelt kiss. The problem with the words ‘I Love You’ is that they aren’t clearly defined. If you ask couples who claim to be ‘In Love’, what the words ‘I Love You’ mean, you will receive different answers. Rarely will you find a couple with the same definition of love. Due to the lack of clarity on the meaning of love, many people confuse love with passion and/or sexual compatibility.
Love, Passion, and Sex
Passion is an intense and compelling feeling, a strong emotional desire, or a craving for someone or something. Passion is usually connected to the desire for a sexual energy exchange. Often times, when the passion leaves, one suffers the feeling of ‘falling out of love’. The sexual act is a powerful energetic exchange between two people. The major five religions caution their followers about the proper use of sacred sexual energies. The truth about sex is that we are sexually compatible with more than one person, but the ability to enjoy sharing your sexual energy with another person does not equate to love.
The Meaning of Love
Love is the complete acceptance of another person. Before one can accept another person, one must gain understanding. It’s quite challenging to understand and accept someone else if you haven’t accepted yourself. Complete acceptance means that you aren’t trying change the other person. Why? Because you understand and accept the other person’s entire being. This is what love is really about; it’s about understanding and acceptance.
Falling In Love
If you talk to people who feel like they just ‘fell in love’, they will tell you that they just can’t stop thinking about their special someone, they frequently daydream about being with this special person, and the thought of being without this special person makes their heart ache. These people aren’t crazy; they really are ‘falling in love’. Most people ‘fall in love’ with an image or an idea that they have created for their future special someone. After meeting a person who possesses some of the actual qualities that they have created in their mind, they think that they have run into ‘Mr. or Ms. Right’. Without Mr. or Ms. Right’s permission, they project the remaining imaginary qualities onto him or her. After the new special someone can’t live up to their imaginary character, then they ‘fall out of love’.
Lasting Love with Wabi Sabi
Couples can create lasting love with the Japanese principle of Wabi Sabi, which means finding beauty in a person’s imperfections. This makes it easier to love (accept) your mate’s flaws, imperfections, and limitations along with their gifts and talents. Wabi Sabi Love means that you accept (love) that your mate doesn’t always call you during his lunch break (maybe because he has a working lunch), but you grow to appreciate his post- work phone calls. Wabi Sabi Love means that you accept (love) that your mate wants to spend time her entire weekend with you (because she enjoys your company). As a Wabi Sabi Lover, you grow to understand that she is sharing one of her most valuable resources (her time) with you. When you see the world through the Wabi Sabi Lens, you look for opportunities to find beauty in yourself, your mate, and in nature.