By: Rashad Phillips
This spring, I learned that Queen Afua, a nationally renowned herbalist, natural health expert, and master teacher would be in Raleigh, NC for her Womb Wellness Tour. So, I traveled to Raleigh to have a conversation with Queen Afua. In addition to sharing Queen Afua’s womb wellness message with our readers, I traveled to Raleigh to personally thank Queen Afua for helping me to understand women.
During a critical time in my life, I read Queen Afua’s Sacred Woman: A Guide to Healing the Feminine Body, Mind, and Spirit and her book totally changed my view of women. I quickly learned that I was socially conditioned to think that women were confusing, materialistic, and sexually manipulative. After reading Sacred Woman, I learned some of the women that I’ve dated may have experienced some form of trauma that caused them to display negative behaviors but both men and woman are on a personal journey. Often times, we aren’t aware of the progress or lack of progress our potential partners have made in their journey. Sacred Woman helped me to easily identify women who are dealing with emotional trauma as opposed to women who are on a scared journey of healing and transformation.
In the African American community, men and women are dealing with various forms of trauma. We go into relationships looking to escape from our challenges to experience sexual ecstasy, but in most cases, relationships force us to face the issues that we’ve been running from. Queen Afua is on a mission to heal our community so that we can live healthy lives, participate in healthy relationships, and grow spiritually. Below is my interview with Queen Afua about her mission to heal wombs, families, and communities.
Phillips: What is a sacred womb and how does a sacred womb speak?
Queen Afua: I’m so glad you asked that question, a sacred womb is a womb that is whole, vibrant and healthy. A sacred womb comes from a sacred woman. The womb is more than a sexual reproductive organ. When the womb and mind are open, our thoughts and womb are in alignment. When the womb and the heart are one, our feelings and womb are in alignment. The balance between our womb-mind and womb-heart reflects and creates the physical womb that we have. When I use the term womb wellness, I am not referring only to a woman’s sexual organ, I am talking about the health of an entire woman who has no disease in her womb. We have a large number of sisters who have fibroids tumors and cyst on their uterus; they have sick wombs that have become angry and wounded.
You can ask your womb questions such as: Why am I attracting the same type of men into my life that keep making me stressful? Why have I developed fibroid tumors again? Our womb has an ongoing conversation with us. Often times, sick and angry wombs speak to us before, during, and after our monthly cycle. So if we’re bleeding heavy during our cycle (7 days or more), then the womb is telling us we’re losing life. Heavy bleeding means that you are losing your life force. Becoming a sacred woman is a process of healing your womb of disease so that you can live a peaceful life.
Phillips: How can a woman be sacred in a super sexual society like America?
Queen Afua: To be sacred is to be sensual, sexual, and in harmony with our sexuality. Being sexual means you look at yourself as a divine and powerful woman who uses the laws of attraction to manifest a man who is her reflection. For women to become whole, healthy, peaceful, and filled with love, we must become and embrace love. The journey of becoming peaceful and filled with love is a part of the process of becoming a scared woman. Sacred women attract men who are in peace sexually, emotionally, psychologically, and mentally. Men who are fulfilled and filled with love see beyond a woman’s vagina, they see women as powerful beings who are capable of giving birth to life, prosperity, peacefulness, and creativity.
Phillips: How does sex affect a woman’s womb?
Queen Afua: Sex is a physical act that only allows you to share a portion of yourself. Love making allows you to connect with your partner on physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels. During love making, your entire being must be present in the relationship. If a man is toxic and you are toxic, then you all will create a toxic relationship. Two healthy people create a healthy and balanced relationship.
At an early age, around 40 years old, men are suffering from erectile dysfunction due to eating fast foods, being overweight, and watching pornography. Women who accept these toxic men in relationships and into their bedroom are lowering their standards as women. Many of these woman that lower their standards complain about not being able to reach orgasm. We have to elevate as women and encourage our men to elevate so that we can participate in relationships that are divine, whole, and beautiful. Orgasms are routine experiences in sacred love making which gives life to your womb.
Phillips: How can women detox from toxic relationships?
Queen Afua: The first step to overcome a toxic relationship is to start the process of forgiving. During my Womb Wellness Tour, we put on a play called, “If your vagina could talk, what would it say?” Forgiveness is a theme of the play. At the end of the play in Raleigh, NC, one sister asked “what happens if he doesn’t forgive me?” I said “it doesn’t really matter because when you’re doing forgiveness work, it’s for yourself. When you forgive your ex, your heart becomes clear and clean.” A whole nation [Ancient Kemet (Egypt)] was based on Maat [which was represented by the scale of truth]. On one side is the feather and on the other side is the heart. Our ancient African ancestors said our hearts must become as light as a feather. So every relationship is a lesson, if you get the lesson then you get the blessing. Forgiveness frees you from pain.
Moving forward, let’s not use the word divorce anymore, the correct term is transformation. When you go through a divorce, you cut yourself in half, you cut the children in half, your heart is broken, and this entire experience will probably cause you spiritual and emotional turmoil for years. You may carry the pain of these negative emotion in your womb which will lead to disease. When you say I’ve transformed, then you’re not carrying the pain of your past relationship in your breast and ovaries, which may translates into a fibroid tumor or cancerous uterus. The journey of being transformed is a result of forgiving yourself and your ex.
Phillips: Do chemical relaxers that women use on their hair or any other chemical product that women use affect their womb?
Queen Afua: Anything that you put on your body, goes into your blood stream and becomes a part of your body. Toxic chemicals in relaxers and other personal care products deteriorate our system by breaking down our immune system. I don’t want to create an uproar by trying to tell sisters what to do with their hair but my recommendation is to treat your hair in the most natural form. Naturally, take care of your hair from inside out so chemicals will not destroy your body. Chemicals are absorbed into your blood stream and travel into the brain which can cause your brain to send signals that cause discomfort. Toxic chemicals in some products may cause clogged arteries and can cause you to feel disconnected from your womb because these toxic chemicals are settling into your organs and poisoning your blood stream.
Phillips: What advice do you have for the woman reading this interview who didn’t view her womb as sacred, she is living a normal western life, has gone through divorce or comes from a single parent home, who may have been emotionally wounded and doesn’t know where to start? What are her first steps?
Queen Afua: The first gateway is womb healing. Next we go into words of healing, which allows words to work as a form of medicine. Then we heal through food which is another form of medicine. We have to cut away corruptible matter and move away from our stagnated lifestyle. After healing internally, we must experience sacred beauty so we allow the beauty within to shine externally. As we move through these experiences, we becoming enlightened, intuitive, and balanced.
I invite your readers to visit QueenAfua.com to learn more about The Sacred Woman Program, a 12 week rites of passage program designed to provide women with practical tools for holistic well-being rooted in ancient African cultural teachings. The program begins on October 26, 2016.